The real problem is, I do this regularly and not just on Facebook. I do it on Pinterest and Instagram and just on the internet in general. I also do it with TV shows. I sit down to watch an episode of a show I like but, after that episode which leaves me hanging, I have to find out what happens next. Four episodes later, I haven't done anything I intended to do and the last episode still left me hanging.
What do I think I'm going to find on Facebook or Pinterest that justifies how much time I spend there? Am I going to find some secret formula that makes my life perfect? If that existed, I would probably hear about it outside of Facebook. I've sat countless hours looking at these perfect kitchens on Pinterest, reading about all the tips and lifehacks about how to do it all. Meanwhile, my own kitchen sink is full of dishes and the laundry I put in the dryer yesterday and restarted 5 times already, is sitting there still waiting for me to get it out. All I'm getting in return for that investment of time is a feeling of guilt that my house isn't perfect.
There's a theory in economics called the "lost opportunity". Basically, we all have limited economic resources and when we choose to use those resources in one place, we've automatically chosen not to use those resources in every place we otherwise could have chosen to use them. We wish we had money to go on vacation, while all the trips through the Starbucks window over the last year could have gone to plane tickets to go on that vacation. We chose one thing and, in turn, didn't choose the other.
We can have that same "lost opportunity" with time. For all my talk of never having enough time, how much time do I waste on things that don't matter?
Yesterday, we helped Madison move into her dorm room in Stephenville. I thought I was ready for that, but I really wasn't. I was OK until it was time to leave and then it hit me like a brick wall that I was really leaving her there. This was it. She was staying and I was going home without her. I had the same desperate feeling I had the first time I dropped her off at preschool when she was two. Am I really going to just walk out and leave her here? Can I do that? Will she be OK? Do I really trust these people?
On the trip home, I was a disaster. I was full of guilt. Not because I left her there. I know she's fine there. She's a smart girl and will do great. I was a disaster because the cost of lost opportunities slapped me in face. I should have spent more time with her this last year. Her last day at home just snuck up on me like a snake in grass. Suddenly it was there and I know I had wasted so much time on things that weren't important.
I have to do better. I need to treat my time like the limited resource that it is. Time gone is time we never get back. It needs to be spent on something that matters, not lost in mindless activities. I need to make mindful choices to spend my time where it actually improves my life. No more chasing rabbits or losing opportunities that can never be replaced.
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.” Psalm 39:4-5
